Witton Albion JFC

The winter weather finally abated long enough to allow the much amended-postponed-rearranged-moved-rained-off-snowed-off-frosted-off-double-booked cup match against Alsager Storm to proceed yesterday. Although the manager lost a couple of players in the cavernous potholes in the warm up, he pronounced "game on" and launched into a series of incomprehensible instructions oddly titled as "tactics". I've seen better "tactics at the nursery" shouted Koulis as he pushed Alex out of the Volvo and roared out of the car park to find a "breakfast burger".

After nodding encouragingly to the manager's "tactics" Dan H stunned everyone as he sashayed through the Alsager defence like the dancing on ice winner and squeezed in a near post shot for the opener. Just minutes later it was two as Jack leapt like a John West salmon (a live one, not the tinned salmon) and planted a "Jonny Evans Style" header into the top of the net. The Albs relaxed too much though and allowed Alsager to gorge themselves at the great first half giveaway midfield buffet - luckily Harry and Theo were standing tall at the back, whilst any attack wave that swamped the Witton defence foundered on the goalkeeping rock that was Alex - another clean sheet for him. Chances were still being created as Tyler and Sam toiled away on the wings and Tommy C boomed in a couple of speculative long range efforts.

After the half time break, sponsored by Wilkinson Spring - "I think he's filled the bottles with sand" explained a concerned-looking Chris as he dragged the bottle bag over the turf - Alsager started to press more urgently, but again the red/white stripes were standing firm as Tom A and Sergeant Wilko were pretty much impregnable in the full back positions, so much so that they could occasionally gamble and move forward to assist the attacking efforts. The defence took a little time off from leathering the ball into the atmosphere to pass the ball out from the back, leading to Jack striding majestically though the defence for the third. Witton were now completely on top and apart from a scare nicely handled by a trademark Elliot J double reaction save to maintain another clean sheet - it was the Albs all the way. Thomas and Ollie started to govern the midfield and Damien could dominate the right wing, unlucky not to score but it was his excellent cross that set up the fourth as Dan B plundered a close range pinball effort late on.

A hard fought game but Witton were able to avenge the early season district cup exit to Alasager, who look to be 3rd tier promotion favourites already. "I'll take that" announced the chief after the game, chuffed that his well-drilled defence had completed a second consecutive clean sheet.

Captain's man of the match: Jack
Managers man of the match: Theo
Magic moment: Jacks crucial 2nd goal put the hammer down on the opposition.
Quote of the day: "come on press - he's just standing on his own browsing like he's in a shop"