Witton Albion JFC

After two weeks of mind numbing first half match madness and a bleep testing to oblivion in Monday night training, the sun finally rose on Moss Farm, potentially heralding a positive day for the Witton Albion U14 Wolves: as fans stated “we never lose when it’s sunny”, leading to further comments like “why are we still called the Wolves?” (ok, I’ll change it for next season), “why is Koulis standing with the away fans” (I don’t know but there’s probably a good reason), “are the seats in the dugout heated?” (yes if you sit on them for long enough), “is it true Gary beat you at footgolf” (yes but I have the harder shot and a muddier backside), “why is Thomas doing modelling pictures and not playing football?” (gawd knows, I can scarcely believe it myself) - were just some of the questions aimed at the increasingly grumpy manager on the touchline.

Thankfully, the referee was eager to start the game and after a vigorous lecture to both teams on expectations of behaviour the game started with Witton launching the ball into the opposition half. Unusually – given recent experiences – the home team started with aplomb and after some inconclusive midfield battles, Elliot W splendidly brought the ball out from defence and passed to Ollie who invoked memories of his goal-scoring exploits in 2014 with a stunning far post finish to send the Albs fans wild. With Fin O fighting a losing battle against illness and injury, Tommy C trotted onto the pitch and attempted his trademark 65 yard goal attempt before keeping the speedy Frodsham winger in his pocket for the rest of the game. On the opposite side, Tom A was also putting the opposition in his pocket, then emptying his pockets on some great runs forward – one pass leading to a Luke chance going narrowly wide. The net custodian Alex was growling and shouting at the team in a splendid manner, delivering some really good early balls from goal kicks and the Albs soon delivered a hitherto unheard of goal from a corner, as the ball slithered across the penalty area for Harry to smash it home for his first goal since January 2017. On the subject of pockets, Theo was cutting everything out the fast-paced opposition had to offer and filling his pockets with attackers, but a spectacular long range effort pulled Graham’s Park back into the game before half time.

A half-time consisting of still , yet chilled “Peckham Spring”, referee instructions including “change your socks”, and some motivational talks (in the dugout… the manager clearly responding to recent customer satisfaction surveys), the team rolled onto the pitch for the second half. Momentarily, a dull midfield battle erupted with Ollie, Luke and Elliot fighting hard as Sam and then Tyler provided a useful outlet on the left side. After a flurry of substitutions, with the manager mis-controlling easy balls and the goalkeeping coach unusually silent, Witton started to put the hammer down as Keegan, released to his natural environment up front, joyfully romped on the left. Damien, looking stong throughout, unleashed a killer cross and Dan H was able to bobble a shot into the net. Elliot J, impervious and impressive throughout the game, was unable to keep out a strange-looking moon shot that magically fell from the stars into the net, but in any case the result was not in doubt.

A first victory over Frodsham Park since the heady days of December 2012 led to some minor celebration from the manager, before he was yet again cruelly robbed of a “score” by the referee. The Chief, buoyed by hitting the post 3 times on his Saturday Scouse Soccer night, was ebullient; “I’ll take that all day but what is this pocket thing you keep going on about?".

Captain’s Man of the Match: Damien
Managers Man of the Match: Tom A
Magic moment: Ollie’s ruthless finish for the first goal
Quote of the day: “I cannot play the second half, the ref has told me my socks are the wrong colour”