Witton Albion JFC

Witton Albion players were caught up in yet another controversy in Chester last week as some shocking facts emerged from their Christas "Do".

NO silent Santa gifts
NO Christmas pudding
NO Christmas cards
NO relevance to Christmas whatsoever
NO santa

Despite parent complaints that their child would not receive some irrelevant environment-busting plastic gift, the whole squad managed to turn up at the Cheshire headquarters of UK Footgolf.

After an hour of fishing balls from the stream the squad headed to the bar for some well earned hot dogs, although some team members preferred to wait for the Morrocan cous-cous with vegetables - it is possible these people could still be at the venue waiting for their food.

The results were that Gary O, Harry and Tom A had all scored a record 27 shots on the footgolf, a full four-under par effort.

A second round produced nothing of note apart from the goalkeeping coach standing in a ditch being cajoaled by the manager, who then proceeded to lose the round to the goalkeeping coach.

The fastest shot delivered a 3-way tie between the manager, Jack and Dan B - the manager cruelly prevented from victory by a slippery surface.

After the manager had washed in the portaloo the squad decamped to Wincham, where they did a fantastic impression of ball-boys-after-a-big-night-out, spending most of the time slumped on chairs. Nonetheless, Dan B claimed an assist for the Witton second goal with a swift ball-boy pick up and delivery.

The lads were expertly shepherded by Jo H, yet again showing the patience of a saint as the manager chilled in the bar. A good day for football resulted as a Stevie Tamsey led attack pulled the Albs to a 4-1 victory.

Captain's Ball Boy of the match: Alex
Managers Ball Boy of the match: Alex
Person most likely to be invited back to be Ball Boy: Alex

UTA!