Witton Albion JFC

“Uhhh what happens next?” whispered the Witton Manager at the end of the 1-1 draw with Holmes Chapel today; “is it penalties, or a replay?” mused the clueless one as the Chief shook his head in contempt. A full two years without a draw and then…. Witton drew against the basement team Holmes Chapel.

The entire squad displayed admirable qualities in a game that was completely dominated by Witton from start to finish - even on a pitch which was bobbly beyond bobblicious, such were the strange angles from which the ball bounced upon hitting the ground. Craig was, as ever, was warming up earliest by mooching around the car park and his swanky new Merc, but Gary O (Witton Parent Footgolf Champion by the way) barrelled in, grabbed the ball bag and strode purposefully to the pitch before asking “what happens now?”.

After transportation arrangements for Theo had been agreed with Beki, the first half started and it was Chris W who showed the way forward with a smart defensive header from the touchline. Encouraged, Paul C-R resumed his bellowing from the opposite touchline as the Holmes Chapel Parents edged away from his imposing presence. Backing up Paul, at a distance – keeping a good shape – was Matt B who began subtly edging the opposition fans towards the fence at the far end. Despite the shenanigans on the opposition touchline, Di kept her position well and was able to offer some words of encouragement, resulting in a splendid lift home to Beki’s house after the match.

In the second half, the Albs were more energetic as first Jody J and then Paul J started to giggle, no doubt enjoying the fact they’d pre-planned the “lack of lamb” and the ensuing loss of the subsitutes bench. Nonetheless, as the second half wore on the woolly-hatted Claire W and Jo G dream team urged the team to greater effort, as if that was actually possible, whilst Emma L and Dave de la Loup berated the unsportsmanlike opposition fans (who by now were all herded into a small corner by the fence by the “Shepherds” Paul and Matt). Then, Martin H gloriously boomed out some encouragement to get the equaliser sorted and it was left to Darren C to see out the result with some wise comments and chuckles. Late in the second half the opposition planted a ringer on the Witton side of the pitch, but he was somewhat ineffective as: (a) he didn’t say a lot, (b) when he did say something he was drowned out by the Witton manager, and (c) when he arrived Witton seemed to be getting a shot in on goal every 30 seconds.

Pundits agreed that it was a highly entertaining and fair game, albeit Witton were somewhat disappointed to come away with a draw after a very dominant display. Nonetheless, a great display from Albion and a fantastic display of teamwork, no doubt the result of the lovely new kit they were, at last able to don thanks to the tireless work of John Wilson.

Captain’s man of the match: Tyler
Managers man of the match: Elliot W
Magic moment: Elliot J’s big shout and charge down to stop an attack in the first half
Quote of the day: “go and play in the centre, the middle of the pitch…. on the left”