Witton Albion JFC

“Two swans don’t make a summer” is the well-known saying and indeed there were no swans today at a chilly Cheshire FA 3G Stadium. Witton Albion faced Grappenhall Blue after the mother of all whoppingly bad result sequences, with NO WINS since 2018, NO PRIZES for 10 weeks and astonishingly - NO TAKERS for the 2012 Wispa Bar that the manager was presenting as “the ultimate incentive for the man of the match”.

Unfortunately the referee was still chowing down on his Sunday roast, so after a short debate between fans and coaches, the Witton manager was shoved onto the pitch, thrown a whistle and told to get on with it. Grappenhall kicked off and 5 minutes of “no-proper-ref-we-can-do-what-we-want” football resulted, before joy of joys, a real ref turned up and the imposter was ignominiously substituted accompanied by cat-calls from the prawn sandwich brigade. By this time, Witton were beginning to impose themselves on the game with Jack battling particularly hard in a wing back position – often doing the hard yards in defending – however Witton seemed to attack well with Nathan on the right and it was he who set up 3 gilt-edged chances that were spurned by the midfield. Witton were not to be denied however, as Dan finally broke through the offside trap to slot home smartly after holding the ball up from an Ollie pass, quickly followed by another assist from Ollie who allowed Luke to pass calmly into the net. Albs fans were encouraged by a new-found maturity at the back with the Elliot J-Tom A-Harry-Theo quadropoly- foursome-quad- ohh whatever cleverly exhausting the attackers with some nice communication and passing. Just before half-time Dan again was set free to score the third after some battling in midfield by Elliot W.

The second half started with Grappenhall asking the questions but Elliot J answering them with a couple of smart saves. Sam H was able to sweep up tidily in midfield and after a half time lecture the team completely ignored the coaching team’s entreaties to “play it on the deck” by smashing it forward in the air at every opportunity and being caught off-side, a lot. Nonetheless, it was a long ball that Keegan was able to capitalise on by smashing home a volley over the on-rushing Grappenhall net custodian. Tyler was toiling away on the right, battling effectively, before a “Sterling-style” non-penalty incident led to Dan becoming incandescent with rage leading to a substitution and then an “angry moment” in the dugout, startling the loyal but injured Tommy C. The last few minutes were played out in desultory fashion and the referee blew on the trusty thunderer just as the club secretary (no less) Howard was about to “come over the top” to get his beloved U16 cup-winning team onto the pitch.

The goalkeeper coach was purring after the game after his prodigy kept a perfect clean sheet, no somersaults were on display but the sentiment was shared by fans and management alike: “great to have a smile”. Enough said.

Captain’s man of the match: Jack
Managers man of the match: Harry
Magic moment: Sam H starting the move for the 4th goal with a cool pass in the middle.
Quote of the day: “hey Dan did you get shot by a sniper?”