Witton Albion JFC

The Albion avenged their defeat to Sandbach Harriers in style amidst some pitch changing, non-contact of referees and general confusion shenanigans on Sunday. Witton have missed their rightful promotion, but could be in for qualification for the Anglo-San Marinonianon Trophy if they remain undefeated until the end of the season. (Other trophies are available).

Evergreen Sandbach manager Andy parachuted in from his latest holiday sporting a smart black bomber jacket, but with only ten players. Albs stalwarts Sam R and Tyler stepped up and sportingly played for the opposition for a half each.

The usual Witton first half blast was absent with Ollie, Dan and Nathan missing. Tom A was dominating his sector in defence but as Sandbach foraged forward they were able to create the opener with secret agent Sam R kung-fu kicking a smart goal home from 12 yards out. With much huffing and puffing Witton started to impose themselves on the game, albeit with a dysfunctional midfield and only Finn H making an impact, so unlucky not to score on several occasions thanks to miraculous opposition goalkeeping. However, hunter-killer Keegan was lurking and after a forced challenge from Luke he was able to ghost “pixel-style” through the goalkeeper to pass home for the equaliser. Elliot J as ever was stable in goal, a brilliant low save allowing the team to get to half time with no further business.

After a stern talking-to from the Chief at half-time, Witton then went on to dominate the second half. The midfield started to function, with Tommy C driving forward impressively in his best game yet for the team, supported by Sam H and Elliot W – probably their best game of the season too. The shots were raining down on the Sandbach goal, with Jack cutting a frustrated but extremely effective left wing presence. The fans becoming nervous and casting "you're getting sacked in the morning" glances at the hapless manager, but secret agent Tyler “passed” a ball back and the Albs earned a corner which was converted by yet another kung-fu kick from Harry. Theo - newly re-named as Tho (is that possible) - was skating around the defence like Tony Curry (remember him) with an approving Jimmy nodding on the touchline; “I’m the Witton Albion parent’s top scorer by the way” he reminded a bored looking Paul throughout the game. Thomas, lurking with intent, was able to set up a penalty after being face planted in the ground and Keegan converted “Kane-style”, before screaming “claim that Lamby” to all that were interested.

After the managers were told off by Gordon, the goalie coach grunted some approving noises, but refrained from a cartwheel limiting his comments to: “they were quality today”.

Captain’s man of the match: Jack
Managers man of the match: Tommy C
Magic moment: Sam R and Tyler secret agents – thank you (manager is sometimes - often daft)
Quote of the day: “are you going to claim THAT Harry?!”