Witton Albion JFC

Witton Albion fans slammed the gaff-prone Albs manager at Sandbach today as he lurched from one misdemeanour to another. IDIOCY as he failed to guess that Sandbach management had put the incorrect match time on the whiteboard…. BASE STUPIDITY as he marched the team to the incorrect pitch….DUMBER AND DUMBER as he forgot his pen and to top it all TROUT-FACED LUNACY as he stood in the ankle deep centre-circle puddle and claimed “this is a great surface, when I was young we used to play on a minefield”. Nonetheless, the fans eventually contented themselves with creating their own stand-in-a-goal and were sufficiently distracted to allow the game to kick-off.

As Typhoon Hagibis lashed south Cheshire (or was that in Japan?) the teams kicked off - Eagles unbeaten against Witton since the infamous U12 game in 2016 - after an initial spell of pressure, Witton began to believe despite being limited to 11 players (which was better than the ratio in the previous games against Barnton and Winsford where only 10 players were available). Tom A was looking solid as the new central defensive linchpin and clearing with aplomb whilst partner in crime Jack – press-ganged into defence once again – was similarly solid. These foundations allowed the Albs to attack and eventually Nathan received a pass and was able to skip past the goalkeeper and score. By this time the puddle on the edge of the area was the best defender on the pitch having robbed the ball off almost all the players on the pitch, but it was obliterated by the best sliding tackle ever by Sam R – his shirt turning pink in the ensuing explosion of muddy water.

When the second half kicked off, the “board of directors” sitting in the “brolly and goal stand” directed Alex H to replace the Chief as linesman and the Faith to take over as manager, with the latter being reduced to ball-boy status (eventually being replaced at even that simple task by other, more cerebral junior fans). On the pitch though, there was a fine battling display by Sam H and Fin on the flanks, providing a further protection for the team and putting in. Although the Eagles were firing a few shots at goal, Elliot was fairly comfortable and pulled off a spectacular block to keep the team in the lead. Witton were still pushing on the counter attack and some chances were wasted before Dan fought and fought his way through the defence to set up Keegan for a near post tap in. Although a few more desultory shots rained in from both sides the game was done, except for a spectacular slider from Tommy C that took out both opposition and Thomas, who was left on the deck bemoaning his luck.

After the game the new manager gave a good briefing to the team and the previous manager was allowed a few words before being shovelled into the green wheely bin as the parents sprinted off to the pub.

Captain’s man of the match: Sam R
Managers man of the match: Elliot
Magic moment: Sam R super slide
Quote of the day: “You’re not coming out of defence until you’ve scored a goal”