Witton Albion JFC

After the mother of all international breaks Witton were ready to rock and roll against AFC Middlewich (nee Winsford Diamonds, nee-nee Middlewich, not to be confused with Middlewich Centurions, nee Middlewich). After the usual pleasantries, the game could begin but the team were dismayed to learn that there was NO Garner Buffet with attractively priced goodies, NO water bottles and NO linesman available.

Gary stepped up, the linesman issue was solved and the game could start. Albion were docile in the opening stages without being under any particular danger, apart from a serious risk of “ball drought” as one football after another was launched over the CFA HQ fence. As the increasingly fraught manager messaged the Witton Juniors “King of Kits” Jojo Wilson for an emergency football delivery, Witton sparked into life and courtesy of a lovely forward ball from Sam H, Nathan strolled through the offside trap and calmly slotted home for the first goal. Elliot was provoked into some strong shouts and a couple of smart saves, interspersed with some rather good long range efforts on goal – leading to pundits musing that this keeper could well be scoring – Antonio Rodriguez style - from his own box in the near future. As Tom A marshalled the defence splendidly in the centre of defence, Tommy C was sweeping nicely in the holding role and Sam R performed a heroic sliding challenge to prevent an almost certain goal: the Albs were defending stoutly allowing a typically swashbuckling run and goal from Dan to further dent Middlewich hopes.

Half time led to more recriminations: NO Garner Buffet with attractively priced goodies, NO water bottles and NO linesman available. When it was pointed out that there was indeed a linesman available and doing quite nicely thank you, the manager got his coat and left, leaving the Chief to conduct a sensible football and tactics based half time talk. Duly inspired, the team trotted out for the second half - joy of joys; they were at their crazy best with Danny speeding in at the far post to slam home his debut goal, whilst comrade James was gracing the left side of midfield with some smart link-up play. Crazy, as the crazed opposition striker hugged Elliot for a “fouly” (or is that foully?) goal from a rare Middlewich corner, but crazily, Witton marched up the other end and Nathan grabbed his second after a crazily clever knock on from Fin – busy as ever on the wing. Thomas was meandering through the midfield, when to his surprise he was upended just outside the box and Jack marched forward to launch a free-kick into the bottom right (always from a goalkeeper view ok?) under a “leaping” wall. Middlewich squeaked home another goal as the red and white stripes dozed a little in defence but a “heap raging bull” Harry provoked more forward play leading to Danny heading home his second goal from a corner and Witton were 6-2 to the good in only their second game in the top flight.

Fans enthused as the team trooped off after the final whistle blew; “is it lunchtime yet”, “I’ve missed me Sunday roast for this” were some of the “family friendly” comments heard as the lads trudged in after a terrific effort and a well-deserved victory.

Captain’s Man of the Match: Danny
Managers Man of the Match: Jack
Magic moment: Super Sam shot stopping slider
Quote of the day: “where’s me blimmin’ water bottles?”