Witton Albion JFC

Angry, upset children and parents were jamming the Witton Albion complaint lines last night as the blundering manager added to his list of sackable misdemeanors by reversing his high powered Mazda3 (now available on 0% APR at Oakmere by the way) over a key team member after the game on Saturday. Although the victim was barely recognisable after the shocking event, the Northwich Cricket Club Chairman was hopeful for a future appearance, “perhaps with some glue surgery we can rescue him” giggled the ashen-faced batting maestro. Witton Albion announced that there would be a minute’s silence at training for the sad remains of the “Passmeister” trophy.

Before the tragedy Witton welcomed Dave and his merry gang of Congleton adventurers, who all arrived at exactly the same time in an excellent display of military-style precision. Hopes for a tight game quickly foundered as Witton scored in the opening minutes when Keegan expertly swept home from an excellent Ewan cross. The Wolves were for once looking hungry and added another when Thomas skipped on to the pitch and calmly passed into the net. Noah was gobbling up all that Congleton could throw at him and Tom A produced a world class display of defence late on, on the few times they were breached Elliot was displaying his usual positional sense and command of his area. Captain Lewis was here, there and possibly everywhere as he urged his team-mates on and started to exploit the acres of space on the right flank.

After the usual half-time telling off from the grumpy manager and a positive team-talk from the chief Chris, the Wolves trotted out and at last started to take control. After another brace from Thomas “van Hooijdonk”, Sergeant Wilko and Finn were making big inroads into the Congleton defence which led to Ollie finding space on the flank; first finding Theo (Tho?) who smashed home a memorable goal and then finding space for himself and sweeping the ball into the net. Congleton’s excellent goalkeeper made countless saves, setting up a couple of counter attacks which led to another own goal. However, Witton were dominant now and the Dutch kid slotted home for a well-deserved seventh.

Post-match, the manager was still grumpy but parents were happy with Jimmy (Witton’s parents top scorer by the way) and Steve smiling at their offspring’s efforts. It was left to chief Chris to sum up: “I thought my coaching points were spot on today”.

Captain’s Man of the Match: Elliot W
Managers Man of the Match: Thomas
Manager’s moment: Ollie - after a game off, good positioning, an assist and … that great goal!
Quote of the day: “It’s not a wedding, stop chatting”