Witton Albion JFC

Witton Albion pitched up at the St Mary’s Stadium and the hardy Albion fans were soon a-buzz with claims and rumours about food orders and the possible location of the nearest burger van. Despite the initial confusion, a line of battle was formed and with PJ as a flanker, Jimmy was able to secure his hot dog before most of the home town even realised quality cooked food was legally available that early in the morning. As the scrum for hot, healthy food developed; Middlewich boss Alex was desperately painting the pitch lines; “I can’t shake hands, I am literally covered in paint” blurted the ghostly wannabe decorator.

The Wolves skipped onto the pitch with a rousing “GO WITTON” and opening minutes saw the teams fruitlessly barging each other and booting the ball into the sticky thorn bushes forcing the Witton parents into several brave forays to retrieve the ball, including a particularly impressive “SAS” style duck-down-crawl-and-flick-out recovery from Paul. The Wolves were hungry; Ollie was the first to make the breakthrough as he ran on past the defence and slotted home impressively for his 8th goal of the campaign. Although Middlewich were showing great skills, it was Witton that were pushing harder and Theo, or “Tho, God of Shooting” as he now wants to be named, jinked past three defenders and slotted home with his left foot. The midfield were bossing the game as Lewis battled away and showed great skills in keeping close control and releasing the ball, leading to skipper Keegan grabbing a third goal. The Middlewich keeper pulled off some great saves, but Witton were streaming forward and even he could not prevent Thomas from grabbing a somewhat deflected goal on his centenary appearance for Witton. Although a fortunate late goal was conceded, Witton looked good going forward with Tom A joining the attack and passing magnificently as more chances went begging (or is it a-begging?).

After the usual half-time moaning by the manager, the team produced another thunderous “GO WITTON” and proceeded to attack in strength backed by some fantastic goal kicks from Alex and weaving wingery from Ewan, who was pressing forward and beating his opposite number with ease. Middlewich were pushing forward with great ability, but the Witton defence were resolute with Noah seemingly impervious and Finn showing some comely skills in bringing the ball out of pressure and creating attacks. It was a pass from Finn which led to Luke barging his way upfield relentlessly and releasing Sergeant Wilko who slammed the ball into the top corner, followed swiftly by Keegan with another smartly taken goal.

“I’ll take that all day” exclaimed a happy Chief Chris, who was yet disappointed to see that the manager had not impaled himself in the thorn bushes to allow true tactical genius to prevail earlier in the game. All at Witton were thankful of the sportsmanlike approach from Middlewich players and fans, things will no doubt get better with such a positive approach and players with great talent.

Captain’s Man of the Match: Noah
Managers Man of the Match: Keegan
Magic moment: A thunderous volley from Luke against the bar
Quote of the day: “Park Royal? That’s where I got my balls busted”
Attendance: (estimated) 32