Witton Albion JFC

Witton Albion whizzed down the A533 to Sandbach for the eagerly anticipated league opener against Sandbach Harriers - newly promoted from division 3. The manager showed no signs of happiness, or indeed intelligence as he led the team from pitch to pitch at the sprawling community football centre eventually arriving at the correct pitch after 20 minutes of fruitless wandering. “Why did you just go round in a circle” enquired Theo (Tho) after he had recovered from his dizziness, “Why did you go round the building twice” brayed the cheerleaders Ella and Jess, “it’s like the Pied Piper story” exclaimed a bewildered parent to the seething manager.

Witton were in an exciting attacking formation (2-0-7), so much so that they generously conceded a goal after barely a minute. Witton soon equalised, however it was “shop till you drop” in the Witton penalty area as another goal was conceded…..but the Albs then decided to shut the shop for the rest of the game as Elliot and Alex then kept everything at bay. This was not without a couple of he roic headers from Tom A and Finn as Noah entered the energetic defensive display with some more well-timed clearances. Witton had clearly decided that the aim of the game was to score more than they conceded, so after a crashing free-kick from Lewis against the droopy crossbar, (technically a goal) Keegan added his second and then Sergeant Wilko followed up with a 30 yard barn-door-breaker. Thomas then volleyed spectacularly “Platt-style” for the fourth and then as the Witton boys were on top Keegan smacked in yet another for his second hat-trick in three games.
The second half saw the lesser-seen spectacle of absolutely no goals, however Luke added some pace and invention and it was his pass that nearly led to the 6th goal as the wonky Sandbach goalframe withstood another attack. Ollie was predictably jumping up and down in frustration but in reality it was his pressing that led to two of the first half goals, whilst Ewan battled away on the wings to keep Witton ahead.

A comfortable win in the end, despite some first half scares saw smiles amongst the Witton group at the end of the game. “Whose is this” rang out several times across the ground as the manager discovered yet more items seemingly abandoned for the end of season lost property raffle. The Chief, having marshalled the defence superbly after the initial goals, was splendidly chipper: “I’ll take that all day” he exclaimed whilst hauling the litter bag across the turf.

Captain’s man of the match: Thomas
Manager’s man of the match: Keegan
Green bean Super Mean Award: Finn
Quote of the day: “Alex, just push him out of the way”