Witton Albion JFC

Witton's traditional "Nutty November" (including the shameful destruction of the cricket club home pitch by local hoodlums) took an unexpected twist at soggy Egerton today, following 3 successive defeats in the league and a close fought friendly against strong Merseyside outfit Widnes Hurricanes. "I could have got the whiteboard but I thought my breakfast was more important" spluttered the chief as he wiped tomato sauce off his chin before the warm up.

All the expected players eventually sauntered over, had a chat and a gossip, interspersed with some mild jogging and then agreed that they would have a try at playing some football. A bright start by both outfits, although it seemed that Witton had forgotten their shooting boots as several chances went a-begging. Dan the Man was showing some silky skills in midfield and only last-ditch tackles stopped him from opening his account. Whilst the manager got stuck in the thorn bushes, Egerton sneaked home a "goal" which superkeeper Elliot seemed to have kept out. Witton were resilient however, aided by a determined Tom and a welcome strong performance by returning Noah, the defence set up the platform for an equaliser expertly put away by Theo before half time.

Almost immediately after the second half started Ollie snatched a great goal by ghosting into the box. Despite this, Egerton won a free-kick and were able to slot home past Alex despite a spectacular dive that got fingertips to the ball. Sergeant Wilko was having none of that nonsense, and aided by Finn the defence stood firm. When Lewis fed Ollie, Thomas danced into the box to slot home. Almost immediately the fourth followed as Ollie swept home his second. Keegan was running at will (not at Will, at his will) now and Ewan was also showing his almost unstoppable skills on the right side of defence as several chances and disallowed goals rained in on the beleaguered Egerton defence.

After the game, the manager was almost smiling until the point that the new kit had to be given out where the kit-grabbing scenes resembled a UN aid delivery for those who had not eaten for 2 months. A great win for Witton, for once the team got what they deserved.

Captain's man of the match: Ollie
Managers man of the match: Ewan
Magic moment: Dan's twisting, turning and tackle beating run in the fist half
Quote of the day: "Can I go on and take the free kick so I can get my hat-trick?"