Witton Albion JFC

The Witton manager reached new lows of incompetence by permanently locking all the Witton equipment in a dis-unlockable (new word - check it out in the Oxford dictionary) vehicle at Manchester Airport this week. A “free the car” campaign launched on Friday has already raised 2 bags of hula-hoops and an apple core. Hartford chiefs, Adrian and Graham, were supportive as the Witton army descended on a lush Hartford Campus and gave the Albs some leeway to let the game go ahead.

Witton started in a sprightly fashion, warmed up to the max by the Chief, and that warm up soon produced some tangible effects as Keegan slipped through the defence after a Theo pass and calmly placed the ball in the net. A big, tough Hartford defence were making life difficult for the Witton attack, but it did not stop the punchy Witton midfield from marauding forward as Damien went ooh-so-close with some strong runs forward. The Violinist, tired of passing, decided to have a crack from outside the box and it flew into the top corner for a deserved second goal. Harry was governing at the back with some excellent stops and threatened to push forward on a number of occasions “Rio-style”. It was Fin O, toiling away as usual, who provoked an attack on the left and Thomas was able to stroke a left foot shot into the far corner before Hartford briefly rallied with a goal before half time.

Witton were sent out with “great passing” but “need better reaction times”, then proceeded to swap the two requirements around with a half of great pressing but some woeful passing. Nonetheless, after a short breach of the perfect defensive trio of Luke, Harry and Alex – all three looking better and better with every week – Witton were attacking at will through Noah and some thoughtful forward passing from Tom A. Then, after a breakdown forced by Sam in midfield, Sergeant Wilko picked the ball up (not literally) and smashed home a top corner shot from well outside the box. Fin O was looking really composed at the back, delivering some useful passes forward to Ollie who was working hard with little reward up front, but that pressing made a difference as Dan strolled through 3 challenges to slot the ball in the Hartford goal.

After the match, the management team was bemused at the change to the team throughout the game….."one day soon this team will be giving another a real thrashing”, grumbled the Chief after the match – albeit with a suppressed smile. Witton’s sizeable travelling army of fans – outnumbering the home support again – went home happy, although Koulis was last seen leathering it down to Moss Farm to feed his unfulfilled burger habit.

Captain’s man of the match: Luke
Managers man of the match: Sergeant Wilko
Magic moment: A fair play moment from the Hartford management team. Thank you.
Quote of the day: “if you’re knackered, start jogging”