Witton Albion JFC

After a nervous Saturday measuring the water table under the home of football at Moss Farm, the grumpy manager pronounced “game on” on Sunday morning, although there had been concerns that the pitch might contravene recent directives that games should not be played where the pitch could be damaged. Vale Bears sauntered up in a disciplined formation that resembled an army battalion with the ever-phlegmatic John sniffing around for players and some gossip.

Witton were down to just 12 players, with the substitute carrying a horrific knee graze injury – nonetheless he bravely made himself available for selection, “provided that the pitch is prepared to my satisfaction”, the perfectionist stated. In the first minute Witton stormed into the lead as Dan sauntered through the opposition defence and finished professionally with his left foot, then just minutes later, following a great Fin O raid and an incisive pass from Noah, Thomas performed a similar effort to put the Albs 2 goals up. Witton then took the foot off the pedal, their minds at rest and mentally put their feet up on the sofa. The Witton passing stopped, the “first to the ball” mentality gone and Vale started to gain some control; disaster struck as Witton needlessly gave away a penalty and a soft goal in quick succession. Elliot J was able to deliver a few quick balls however, one led to a swift moving attack involving a rejuvenated Sergeant Wilko and a fantastic finish from Dan regained the lead before half-time.

After a jolly good rollicking from the Chief and the Manager, Witton transformed themselves from the serial underperformers to the team that most knowledgeable pundits know they can be. After a little shift in formation, Luke was released from his defensive prison and quickly added the Vale-breaking 4th goal. Witton scented blood and after a fantastic Tom A slider, Vale were neutralised as an attacking force. Keegan, again, was making the centre back position look easy and it was his strong clearances that set up Sam to score a hard-working brace. Injury-ridden Dan then added a further smartly taken effort, before being withdrawn for “a jolly hot bath, This led to the lesser seen event of Alex in the centre attacking midfield position where he made some fantastic touches. Watching scouts will be further energised by the effervescent Luke who dinked the goalie for his second and gloriously followed up on an unfortunate defensive error for the hat-trick.

Soooo, a predictably bad first half from the Albs…followed by a second half that, at times, was the best seen yet. “that second half move of touch and pass was right from my training session” boasted the smiling Chief after the game. The manager, who barely registered a smile throughout the occasion, was last seen applauding Jimmy, Karolyn and Paul for single-handedly taking the nets, poles and ropes down as the rest of the parents legged it to the pub.

Captain’s man of the match: Sam
Managers man of the match: Tom A
Magic moment: Luke’s “never say die” run for his third goal
Quote of the day: “Dan, just run it off"