Witton Albion JFC

Witton Albion kit-less wonders found themselves trotting across dewy, sun-dappled turf on Sunday as they faced the “new” outfit of Middlewich Centurions in the first round of the league cup. There were soon whispers of “poo”, “there’s poo” until the clamour became so loud that the manager had to give up his pride and prise the stubborn doggy doo from the sodden turf and carry it to a safe haven in an improvised “doggy bag”. “Serves him right for abandoning my Peckham Spring Water” exclaimed a gleeful goalie coach as he demonstrated graceful swallow dives to the attentive net custodians.

Tyler and Thomas faced a game on the bench but were vocal supporters as the team trotted out. The team kept trotting for some time past kick-off as Middlewich came out firing and soon took the lead following a breakaway goal. However, Alex was passing out very nicely from the back, enabling Tommy C and Jack to combine well to release Theo on a number of turbo boosting runs down the wing. With Tom A battling a bizarrely numbered 99 forward player at the back (does that even make any sense?), Witton looked stronger in defence as the half wore on. The Albs were putting the hammer down and yet again, the corner provided an equaliser as Dan B karate kicked the ball (possibly the keeper too) into the net. With Luke frustrated up front, Sam was able to generate some great runs but was cruelly prevented by some alert goalkeeping. Witton’s dominance told further as Dan H’s left footer was verging on pea-roll but the accuracy told as it nestled into the corner beyond the excellent Middlewich keeper. Ollie made a fleeting appearance but decided that the team had it covered and retired hurt to put his feet up on the bench….”call me if you need me gaffer” he yawned.

After a half time refreshing beverage - this week’s guest being Runcorn Spring, “It’s better than that Peckham muck and it kind of sounds like a revolutionary movement” mused the Chief while he quaffed the vintage drink – Witton kept up the comedy by allowing Middlewich in for 2 further goals, but Elliot was still looking strong and calm at the back and set the platform for Witton’s win as the Dans added a goal each. Witton frustrated Middlewich attacks with Harry bossing proceedings at the back as Fin O breezed around deftly loosing dinks up the left flank to Theo who displayed some lovely skills to bamboozle the wondering opposition. The last hurrah was nearly claimed by Damien, who turned smartly on the half way line and loosed off a near perfect lob that for all the world looked like going in, but was brilliantly saved by a back-pedalling keeper.

Another close result for Witton, but nonetheless a deserved win.

Captain’s man of the match: Sam
Managers man of the match: Tommy C
Magic moment: Damien’s half-way line lob
Quote of the day: “that’s not out, don’t tell porkie pies number 44”