Witton Albion JFC

“Ohh luxury”, “I could get used to this”, “they mowed this nicely”, “wot no net pegs”, “is the butty van here?” were the opening comments as Witton played their first game at the Cheshire FA 3G pitch today. As the manager “busied” himself by collecting stray Elliot J balls from the surrounding countryside, the parents excitedly jostled for position and seats in the covered dugouts. Holmes Chapel, promoted from division 3, arrived in good time and cheer, warmed up in a professional manner, although a similar parent-dugout-scrum-for-seats developed. Watching FA supremo Ryan looked on bemused, “I reckon you could charge the parents for those” he said, but did not reveal if he meant a monetary charge or an FA disciplinary one.

Witton, now into their third week of “huddle and Go Witton strike” organised in protest at the missing new kit, ambled onto the pitch, had a gossip and kept ambling …. so much so that despite a solid Alex save Holmes Chapel slid in for the opener. With the manager tutting ineffectually from the touchline, Witton seemed to take an age to wake up but eventually began turning the screw, building pressure through a series of left flank attacks started by Tommy C. After about 30 successive corners, the stripes eventually got their just reward as Jack meandered through the defence for his opening goal for the club. Witton maintained the pressure and Fin O gleefully tapped in before Jack grabbed his second and Dan smacked home a trademark effort into the bottom corner. It was at this stage that agent Tyler was literally jumping up and down in eagerness to get on the pitch.

Half time saw a critical management team harshly expounding on the need to communicate and be more aggressive in the first ball challenge, however the lads were happy with their delicious “Kingsmead Spring” and lazed contentedly on the finely mowed artificial turf. “I just dipped the bottles in the River Weaver” announced a cross-looking Karolyn as she marched off to retrieve another lost ball. In the second half, Witton produced some much better football but succumbed to a smartly taken breakaway goal early on. Elliot J, unperturbed, amused himself with some excellent clearances including a great throw out that set up a right wing attack by Tom A. Ollie governed the central midfield with harrying and some great passes, whilst sidekick Elliot W was also able to fire some fine passes to his colleagues. With Luke moved to centre back and showing his excellent timing, the basis was set for total Witton domination. Chance after chance went a-begging, the most memorable being a Dan B smasher that cannoned off the bar, following some more trickery by Theo on the left wing.

The final whistle brought some relief as Holmes Chapel were always threatening, but in truth Witton deserved to win by a greater margin. “I’ll take a win against Holmes Chapel any day” announced the Chief at the end of the game. A reasonable effort by the Wolves, that left the team 3rd in the table, but with much to improve on.


Captain’s man of the match: Elliot W
Managers man of the match: Ollie
Magic moment: Jack’s super goal for the equaliser
Quote of the day: “it’s 24 quid, what..25? I’ll take that”